There is a bit of a rift between photographers who shoot weddings and those who don't.
I feel like I am constantly having to clarify that I am not a wedding photographer but I do shoot a few unique weddings per year. In my opinion, those who have never shot a wedding (even if they have been a pro for years in another niche) don't understand the mental, physical and creative workload of the wedding day. There are a lot of things that you need to control but can't which can be extremely limiting. That's why I quickly moved away from the "traditional wedding" that demands a particular approach of compromise.
I used to think that I had to go all-in with an intense on-boarding strategy, strong social media presence, and strict professionalism to find those unique couples who would be willing to spend the necessary amount of money on wedding photography. In fact, I have even spent money on education and resources from other photographers who served the elusive "luxury" market where wedding photographers make the big bucks. This turned out to be a waste, I am not cut out for dozens of scheduled emails or intensive timelines/shot lists. I did try to implement a lot of these strategies but naturally, the clients who were interested in a less traditional approach aligned with me and decided to book me.
While I do have a dedicated Instagram for showcasing my wedding work, almost all of my couples find me through my main page or referrals from past clients. My main instagram is where I post my non-wedding work and more personal, humanizing content.
So what exactly is my approach then?
To really get to know my couples and genuinely freeze time on their wedding day by creating an experience of trust, comfort, and flexibility. My number one priority is making sure that my couples experience the fullness of their wedding day by remaining present and trusting me to do my job. This means uninterrupted moments with no repeating or faking and no photography timeline. Removing myself from "creating" moments allows me more time to explore what is going on around me naturally and be creative.
This may seem terrifying but it is completely possible and you may find yourself creating the best work of your career and preserving memories that will outlast several lifetimes. These are a few of the ways I make it work for me:
Take the time to make yourself familiar with your couple and what their dream wedding day looks like. Prior to booking a couple, I always have a consultation where we go over their vision and make sure it aligns with my creative expression. The aesthetic doesn't have to necessarily be my personal style but it should be one that translates well with my work. Once booked and prior to the wedding, I always set up a meeting with the couple and simply ask them "Let's start from the moment you wake up on the wedding day until you go to sleep. What do you imagine the day will be like?" then I write down everything they say. This allows me to notice what they are most excited about and their priorities so I can suggest a coverage start/end time that works for them. This also prepares me to anticipate those special moments and details that my brides have spent hours dreaming about. Regarding the timeline, I simply want to know when the ceremony portion will begin, the rest will flow.
Establish a clear expectation of how you will conduct yourself on the day. Your couple should understand your approach and fully trust you for this to work. You don't want to show up on a wedding day where everyone is waiting for you to make things happen. This is only possible if you are honest and transparent in your communication. My couples understand that I prioritize the moments that occur naturally but I am still fully receptive to post-ceremony formals with family and always include time for newlywed portraits (unless otherwise requested). I make my approach abundantly clear at the very first consultation which helps me to avoid compromising. Some couples may think they want a documentary approach but then send you an intense timeline and shot-list when it feels too late to reject it. This can leave you feeling stressed about fulfilling an expectation and your couple feeling disappointed in the final images no matter how well you execute.
Take the time to experiment. If you have already done the difficult work of establishing a non-traditional approach and found a client who trusts you, don't waste the wedding day inside of a boundary. Try new things, keep it moving, and keep your camera ready to fire at all times. For me, documentary style is a fast-paced opportunity for me to capture as much as my eyes can see. Over-shooting may not be your bag but it is important to always be ready, your couple is trusting you to tell a story that goes beyond the first kiss.
Utilize the opportunity to gain wedding day experience. I don't recommend this approach for baby photographers. You should fully understand the risk and complexity of a wedding day including how to cope with changing conditions. Documentary style means that things will happen whenever and wherever, especially without ideal lighting. It is vital to be familiar with the functions of your camera and how to adjust settings quickly to accommodate all lighting situations. I am not saying you need to go hard doing traditional weddings but you really should be able to handle a few. Truthfully, you should be proficient in flash, working with large groups, and shooting in both lowlight and direct sun before committing to shoot any wedding. While I can say I felt confident in my camera skills long before I took my first wedding, I had a lot to learn about time management and interpersonal communication. I also can't encourage second-shooting enough, it is a wonderful way to see how a more experienced photographer conducts themselves while also giving you the opportunity to explore alternative shots and build a strong portfolio. I continue to seek second-shooting gigs even now and have become a regular with a few photographers who are completely different styles from me. This helps me expand mentally and creatively in various ways.
Cater your approach to how you want it to look and feel. Just because this approach works for me, doesn't necessarily mean it's what will work for you and your business. As mentioned earlier, I thought I had to operate the same way others were in my industry in order to make it work. The truth is, the only thing that will work is doing what makes you happy. There are also no hard rules, you don't have to approach every wedding exactly the same (in fact, you probably shouldn't) so give yourself some grace. Life is fully customizable.
My experience serving couples with traditional weddings hugely prepared me for success and taught me how to cope with the demands of my clients (and their moms lol) and the chaos of a day where timelines are almost always behind. In fact, the anxiety induced by my earlier weddings is what pushed me to take this approach in the first place. I absolutely hated seeing my bride's full of stress on their wedding day and knew I needed to do something to put everyone (including myself) at ease. I found almost immediately that I was able to achieve this by internalizing what I knew I needed/wanted to capture and doing it at my own pace while providing reassurance to my clients.
The more you seek yourself in anything you do, the better it will be. There is truly no reason to conform to ideas that do not serve you and I hope you will build a photography approach that allows you to fully immerse yourself in the work.
With love, Chloe.
